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Things I’ve learned from being an Ausländer

1. Bureaucracy is a fine tuned art in all countries. The US has no monopoly on “things that make a person go HUH?” (or equivalent NY terminology. In Germany, some rules change so often that no one knows what the procedure is at any given moment. This leads to a plethora of “chicken and egg” situations — for instance, in order to obtain contract A, insurance must be proven. In order to get insurance, contract A must be provided. To get around this, intricate dances are created: Pre-contract A is provided to insurance company, policy provided to contract, contract to insurer.

2. Sugar. In Pickles. This should be a sin.

3. Sugar. On rolls that look like gobs of salt. Evil.

4. From Iceland, scrambled egg and smoked trout on bread is a. mazing. The same goes for sharp swiss cheese on marmalade. For the first time ever, I can actually use the marmalade I’ve opened for something other than the twice yearly toast with sweet stuff crave.

5. Walking distances: having experienced this in Scotland a decade ago, at least I was prepared for the “just a short walk” that for most lazy (or non-lazy) Americans is a precursor to a half marathon. Hiking for kilometers on end is made possible by amazing bike/pedestrian pathways that literally traverse the German country. In Iceland people take their chances on the highways but in both countries, one may just cross country bike/hike without worrying about whose subdivision they are trespassing upon.

6. Just because everyone is a size Twig does not mean they are eating healthy foods. Or even having a healthy lifestyle. Tobacco is everyone’s friend. As are starches. But this really drives home my view that a fit body does not come from starving oneself, but by combining that fifth point (burning calories) with the eating bit. Not so much exercise? Don’t eat so much.

7. The Icelandic win at the Pool game. While the German “Bad” is an amazing conglomeration of hot tubs, salt tubs, wave pools, and some sport pools, the Icelandic ones are affordable and everywhere. Everywhere.

8. Rabbit can taste quite lovely.

9. So can lamb.

10. This list will be continued!!!