Or, purposefully enslaving oneself to the whims of the Feline Overlords.
It’s no secret amongst those that know M Planet that cats are a huge part of The Life. Sometimes a bit of levity is exchanged, teasing, maybe even downright insults, as a result of this. When young, Slideman used to say that the Planet would probably end up living in a secluded area with a cathouse. No, the double entendre is not lost on MP, but there are also days when M Planet should have been a saxophone player in a whorehouse. This post is not about that.
The Current Queen of the House is Jessa von Fabaceae, Waldkönigin. Jessa is, as have been a majority of the Feline Overlords, a rescue. Age unknown – probably around 14-16 – she is marvelous and soft and oh, so persnickety about having visitors. She’s also a bit picky in her eating habits. One of the things that MP has been doing for a couple of decades now is making homemade cat food for the Discerning Feline (aka: picky eater). Jessa is not a fish-eating cat, but she does love her chicken, and she prefers a pate’, so the cat food that has been made for Jessa has earned the nickname “Jessa Hummus”, because it bears a not-small resemblance to the chickpea dish common in Middle Eastern Fare.
Cats are obligate carnivores. What this means in Normal People language is that, no, that vegan cat food you saw in the store is not a good idea. Cats need the protein, fat, amino acids, etc that are found in animals. So cat food mixed with grains is also not natural – in the wild, the most “dangerous” of all felines (with a kill rate of up to 14-15 small prey per night), the Black Footed cat (Felis nigripes) does not go after the grasses, unless they are in the belly of the creature they are dining on. Domestic cats are also small creatures (about the same size as the African death machine mentioned above), and as small creatures, the amount of additives in commercially prepared cat food is higher in percentage to body weight than to humans (who also eat things with copious quantities of additives). Anyway, all this to say: M Planet serves at the pleasure of the feline overlords, and as any good devotee, wants the best in health for the feline(s) of the house.
So, when Jessa goes on her divine Hunger Strike, it’s time to break out the cat food pot. Over the course of much experimentation, the discovery that chicken thighs in bulk make the best source – originally, whole chickens were used. Price per pound (unless one has their own chicken farm), this makes sense – but when one takes into account how much actual meat, and how much time it takes to get said meat and skin off a whole chicken, the economy changes. Nowadays, a couple family packs of chicken thighs result in very little waste: all one has to do is remover the bone and cartilage – quick and easy. Cook up the rest of the ingredients while the chicken is being deboned, save the broth for any number of culinary delights for the humans in the house, and Bob’s your uncle.
Crazy cat people. Yes.
